Monday, November 19, 2007

This Post Took Me An Hour To Write, And It Still Sucks

I have been asked by 3carnations to write seven weird or odd or some such adjective things about myself.

While I am sure there are a ton of weird things, I am having trouble coming up with new weird things. I will do my best.

1. I have been -R- Marriedname for over two years now, but every once in a while, usually when talking on the phone at work, I will refer to myself as -R- Maidenname. And then I usually yell out, "Marriedname! -R- Marriedname!" and the person on the other side of the conversation is so glad that he or she has a smart person like me as his or her lawyer.

2. I have a favorite television commercial. It is the one where a bunch of guys are doing a draft for their fantasy football team, and one guy says, "TJ Hoshamizode. Lock it up!" It is probably pretty pathetic that I have a favorite television commercial, so I won't tell you that I say, "TJ Who's your mama. Lock it up!" all the time.

Do you care that H has a favorite commercial too? It is the one where the deli guy tries to order meat, and the supplier says they are out. The deli guy asks, "What, did your wife wolf it down for breakfast?" This makes H laugh every single time.

3. I rarely, if ever, buy clothes that are the right size. I almost always buy them too big and realize after I've worn them 50 times that they don't fit properly. I don't know if it is some weird kind of body image issue or if I am just dumb.

4. I love banana pudding with pieces of real banana in it, but I can't eat a banana by itself. Eating a banana by itself is disgusting. I think it's the texture. Bleck.

5. See also: pineapples. Barf.

6. I am not very good at buying presents for people.

7. I joined a group for 20something bloggers. I am still trying to figure it out and have no idea what I am doing. Why did I join? I have no idea.

To join, you are required to write something about yourself. Here is what I wrote:
I like spaghetti, juggling, Chuck Norris, mittens, Chuck Norris wearing mittens, stupid About Me sections, Jim Halpert, and Guitar Hero.

You also have to complete the following sentence: "People who like ____ will love my blog!" Right now, I have filled in the blank with "sharks." Other suggestions are greatly appreciated.

24 comments:

Megan said...

I suggest using "David Hasselhoff". It works every time. I also encourage people to write posts about the Hoff and his extreme hotness.

If they're not down with the Hoff, Chuck Norris or Fabio would probably work almost as well.

janet said...

we love you because you pull off the randomness so well. maybe it's because we know you are a lawyer by day - crazy blogger lady by night? :) (crazy in the good way of course)

Noelle said...

People who like hating bananas will love your blog. I hate bananas and love your blog.

I have favorite commercials too, but in the way that I can't think of what to post right now, I can't think of what those commercials are.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I always laugh like crazy at that car commercial where the girl is jogging and runs directly into a car. And then gets up and runs into the exact same car. Hee.

People who love -R- will love this blog.

KM said...

You make me laugh. :)

D and H share a favorite TV commercial. D always laughs at that one.

And how do you not like bananas and pineapple? LOVE. I hope I can still read your blog.

Operation Pink Herring said...

I think "sharks" is perfect. Who doesn't like sharks? I am scared of sharks and I will not swim in the ocean, but I still think they are awesome.

claire said...

My bf loves that deli guy commercial, too. I don't know why, but he laughs every single time.

How about "people who love 'swinging'..."? I hear that swinging is always funny.

lizgwiz said...

Yeah, I'm with Claire. "Swinging." Hee.

Stefanie said...

Your dilemma over that About Me section is the exact reason I still have not done Match.com. Now you know what it is like! I would venture to guess that writing something that will make people want to read your blog or not want to read it is at least a little less stressful than writing something that will make people want to date you or not want to date you.

Also, I have been postponing my participation in that same meme for the same reason: I've got plenty of weird things about me to talk about; the problem is coming up with NEW weird things!

3carnations said...

I think we will all discover/remember new weird things about ourselves after the holidays. They really tend to bring quirks out in people.

I don't have trouble giving the correct last name, but I am paranoid that when leaving a phone number on a personal message, I will leave my work number instead of my home number. Every single time, when I hang up, I think to myself "Did I leave my home number or my work number." I should write myself a message leaving script or something...

L Sass said...

People who like HAVING FAVORITE COMMERCIALS will love this blog!

I always have a favorite commercial, too. There's no shame in it!

Ashley said...

i love that deli commercial as well - it cracks me up.

"..i mean, look at me! we're...probably the same size..."

also - a friend of mine (well, internet friend...) started 20-something bloggers...it used to just be like 5 of us. now it is crazy big.

abbersnail said...

I don't know. I think "sharks" is pretty hilarious, if not necessarily accurate. I mean, I love your blog, but I'm not planning on TiVo-ing shark week or anything.

You crack me up. I really like that deli commercial. I also like the beer commercial where the two guys are at the opera, and the one guy has all the beers in glass bottles inside his jacket. Of course, the singer hits the high note, and the bottles explode. And then the guy in front of them turns around and is like "first time at the opera, boys?" And he holds up an aluminum can of beer.

Wow. I just got waaaaay too excited describing that!

Jess said...

I love this post, especially the first item. Also, I don't buy clothes that don't fit right, but often I'll try something on in the wrong size and then just decide that it's ugly and fit wrong and not get it. Only recently have I been realizing that I should try a different size if I don't like the first one. And sometimes it's made all the difference.

Christine said...

Aww, I second Megan's comment, because The Hoff. You could use H's drunken Hoff pic!

Megan said...

Sorry for the self-link, but if it's Hoff pics you're after:

http://stevemegan.blogspot.com/search/label/David%20Hasselhoff

Laura B said...

Oh, hey, I like sharks and I love your blog! So there you go. In fact, I currently have an obsession with going to South Africa to go shark cage diving.

I don't have TV anymore, but I have been watching some shows online. One of them had a commercial that seriously cracked my shit up. It was this tubby white guy who had been tattooed to look like a tiger, and he was calling the tattoo guy pleading to have the tiger stripes removed. Then you hear this Asian guy say, "I told you. Tattoo not removable. You tiger now." Ahhhh. I may or may not have told Greg, "You tiger now" over and over.

-R- said...

km, don't worry. This isn't a make or break situation. We can be friends no matter what kind of fruit you like!

Lara said...

Ha! You crack me up. Sharks? Also, I recently remembered the joy that is (are?) Chuck Norris jokes. I started describing them to my mom an dcould not stop laughing. Whee!

Lara said...

Ha! You crack me up. Sharks? Also, I recently remembered the joy that is (are?) Chuck Norris jokes. I started describing them to my mom an dcould not stop laughing. Whee!

Lara said...

Oh, and PS< I am so with you on bananas.

Jenny said...

#4. I totally agree excpet just the opposite.

People who love this blog will love this blog.

Also people with hearing problems.

Whiskeymarie said...

People who like donuts will like your blog.

What will it take to get you to write "donuts" in that blank today???

jen from boston said...

"Championship!" - Oh my God, that was funny. I actually walked your favorite commercial down to show my husband. HEE. I had never seen that one before. A+. I'm going to be saying that one for ahwile, I know.

"People who love a feel good story about a reformed 50 year old lesbian accountant who married a studly H."