When I was in first grade, I made a little book about jobs.
Page 1: My dad works for a telephone company.
This was technically true. I remember that on this page I drew a picture of my dad talking on a rotary phone. Why do I remember that?
Page 2: My mom is a stay at home mom.
True. She also worked part-time at the library of a grad school, which meant that twice a week we had a crazy old lady babysitter who was obsessed with The Price Is Right.
Page 3: My Grandpa D. is a retired barber.
Page 4: My Grandpa E. is a retired donut salesman.
WHAT THE HELL? My mom laughed so hard when she read this. She asked me why I wrote that, and I said, "Duh. Because he was a donut salesman."
First of all, what the hell is a donut salesman? Does he go door-to-door with a briefcase full of donuts? Does he wear plaid suit coat and stand at the counter and ask customers, "What's it gonna take to get you to walk out of here with a donut today?"
Second, my Grandpa E. was a retired farmer.
I think I got him confused with the guy on the commercial who had to wake up early and said, "Gotta make the donuts!" I was such a weird child.
Did you have any odd misconceptions when you were younger?