When I am upset about something (which I am not right now, I was just thinking about this on my drive home from the bus stop), I deal with my sadness or anger or other feelings by talking about the upsetting thing. So when I got super smoldering angry with H about something a while ago, I let myself steam about it for a while, and when I didn't start feeling better about the situation, I called Double G (my best friend from high school) and said, "Aaa! I am so pissed off about this! Blah blah blah!" And then I felt a lot better. But sometimes, talking about a situation once does not make me feel better. I have to talk about it 50 times. Frequently, once I feel better, I forget all about it. And then a friend will say, "Hey, remember when that really bad thing happened and you were so pissed and talked about it for a week?" And I will have no idea what they are talking about. That happens to me more frequently than you would think. Well, more frequently than I would think it would happen. Or maybe I am just losing my damn mind [which certainly seems like the case after re-reading this post].
So Double G is probably my best friend (besides H), even though I don't talk to her that often. But I am not sure that I am her best friend. She has a few really close friends from college who are all awesome women, and I think they are better at staying in touch with Double G than I am. (I kind of suck at regular communication right now. I am not even a good e-mailer, which used to be my strong point. I was an awesome e-mailer.) I have one really close friend from college who would be the other candidate for my best friend, but I think I am probably more open with Double G. Anyway, the point of this is that it doesn't bother me if we are not mutual best friends. My best friend in law school (besides H) was this guy from the bad date story. I know without a doubt that I was not his best friend in law school, but it never bothered me. And now he lives near me, and I think that (besides his girlfriend) I am probably his best friend in Minnesota, and yet, he is not mine. And it's ok! I am probably the only adult who even thinks about things like this, but that didn't bother me until just now when I typed this all out, and now I look like some weirdo who keeps best friend tallies or something. I don't. This is just a random observation. That I feel the need to write out and publish on the internet.
The thinking about best friends leads me to thinking about mean girls. I have read other female bloggers write posts referring to mean girls who picked on them. I don't think I've ever dealt with that. Not that I was never made fun of in my whole life. Of course I was. But the only example I can think of is that one time in first grade, my pants were riding really low when I was sitting in the cafeteria, and a group of other first graders saw my butt and pointed at me and laughed. But I just pulled up my pants and pretended I wasn't embarrassed. And one time in eighth grade, I heard these three girls I didn't like talking about me behind my back, and they were saying that I thought I was smarter than everyone. It hurt my feelings, but it was probably true. I probably did think I was smarter than everyone. I was certainly smarter than them. Ah, it is funny how I still feel bitchy about those girls 15 years later. But I never had a group of mean girls pick on me, and I never have had any fears of being friends with girls, about which there was an interesting discussion on Jonniker's blog.
In case the rest of this post was not long and random enough, can I tell you that I am kind of freaking out because I got a postcard in the mail offering me a free DVD about breastfeeding? Why does anyone think I would need such a DVD? Shouldn't I have a baby or something first? Or even be pregnant? Did the breastfeeding people just send this postcard to all women between the ages of 18 and 55? Is this some kind of breastfeeding DVD scam to which I am not hip?