Thursday, August 09, 2007

The Mean Stuff Is Just More Interesting

As I have mentioned previously, my 10 year high school reunion is coming up soon. I am not going. But this summer I have discovered some facts about my former classmates that I have shared with H. Stupid stuff like that there are several people from my class who married other people from my class. And when I share these delightful tidbits with H, he says things like, "You sure are obsessed with this reunion considering that you are pretending you don't care about it at all." It isn't that I don't care. Like I've already said, it's that I don't have any desire to see most of the people who I think will attend the reunion. But I do want to know what they are up to these days so that I can mock them (or think they are cool, but that is not as fun) from a distance.

The reunion organizers sent out an evite to everyone. Many of the people who responded that they weren't going to attend the reunion left little notes saying why they weren't going to attend, like they had a wedding or a business conference to attend that weekend. Double G (my high school best friend, for those of you just tuning in) responded that she would be on vacation in Greece and Turkey. Which is true. But which is also code for, "Suck it, losers." Double G and I find this hilarious. Not that we're bitter. But I think, like most people, there are a few people to whom we would like to point out that we are much more successful than them. Specifically, Lindsey, Erin, and Kari: my two choir nemeses and this one girl who was just the meanest person I've ever met (although I can't remember her ever being mean to me).

Anyway, this is all just an introduction for the questionnaire that I am stealing from Stefanie, since my class doesn't (unfortunately) have a questionnaire.

Name: -R-

Married?
_X_ Yes
___ No

If yes, name of spouse: H. You may have heard of him, since he is an internet celebrity.

Number of years married: Almost 2.

Children?
___ Yes
_X_ No thanks.

Occupation(s): Law stuff that you wouldn't understand.

Hobbies: Starting to knit a baby blanket that is nowhere near finished despite the fact that the baby is approaching 6 months old; reading books by Maeve Binchy.

Future Plans: Reading your questionnaire responses and judging you.

Most Memorable Moment from High School: I can either write something really sincere but not interesting to the internet or something that makes me sound supremely bitter, even though I'm not. Or I could write that it was the time when I snuck out for lunch my junior year, and when I came back, the security guard was blocking the doors. And I started trying to think of a senior that I could pretend to be and say that I had forgotten my i.d.(since only seniors were allowed to go off campus for lunch), and the only senior I could think of was Parul, this Indian girl. I was pretty sure the guard was not going to buy that I was Indian. But then the security guard just said hi and held the door open for my friends and me.

Biggest Accomplishment Since Graduation: Getting season tickets to Husker football games!!!!! Woooo!!!! Oh wait, that's not me; that is what the rest of my class will write.

Most Embarrassing Moment in High School: Seriously? This question is just cruel. I wasn't embarrassed at the time, but looking back, my most embarrassing moment is probably wearing this purple shirt on which I wrote something lame with puffy paint. I can't remember what it said, but I remember that it was mortifying. Or crying when I was supposed to give a speech at this senior banquet. Ok, it was a debate team banquet. Yeah.

One Thing That Your Classmates Do Not Know About You: My husband could beat you up.

Would you be interested in working with the 20th year reunion committee?
___ Yes
___ No
_x_ Hell no.

16 comments:

janet said...

hahahha you are totally cracking me up here. my 10 yr is in 2 years and I think I need to borrow these questions AND answers, thanks!

sognatrice said...

I loved this over at Stefanie's and I love it here. You're *really* tempting me....

3carnations said...

I love these questionaires. I have similar bitterness toward high school reunions, but I just don't feel motivated enough to fill out my own snide questionaire right now...

Lawyerish said...

PUFFY PAINT!

hahahahahahaha

I love the story about sneaking out for lunch. My high school was like that, too, and it was considered very daring to try to make a run for the DQ without getting caught.

Noelle said...

My HS class president was in jail or something, so we never had a reunion. I'm kind of bummed, because there wasn't even a thing I could publicly announce I wasn't attending.

stefanie said...

Awesome. You do know that "Hell no" was not "officially" an option on the original questionaire, right? ;-) It totally should have been, though.

L Sass said...

I really enjoy your "future plans" section. At least someone is honest!!

lizgwiz said...

I'm thinking someone needs to put together a book composed entirely of reunion questionnaires like these. Hilarious!

Leah said...

My husband just found out that his 10 year reunion is next month and they haven't even sent out the invites yet. Way to be on the ball there, dudes. Mine is next summer and I got the invite about 3 months ago. I do think I'm going to go to mine, though.

double_g said...

I just did a lot of blog-catching up.

a) If I had to pick one best friend, it would be you. However, I prefer to refrain from such labels and call you all my very close friends. I'm also pretty sure that if I called any of my three college friends my best friend, we would not be mutual best friends.

b) I love sounding hoity-toity on our high school reunion evite. Suck it, losers.

c) It's sad that the most rebellious thing we did in high school was sneak out for lunch. And come back in time for class.

d) If anyone wants to know what the puffy painted slogan on the t-shirt is, you may start your bidding.

metalia said...

I love that you have choir nemeses; also, have you started randomly Googling your old classmates? That's how I discovered that my old friend was a porn star. Hooray for technology!

KM said...

My 10 year was supposed to be this year too, but none of us have heard anything. Oh well.

I was not quite as daring in highschool--we all forged notes to get off campus for lunch, and then we proudly displayed our excused absence slips on the table at Perkins when the police officers walked by. LOSERS!

double g, do you accept pay pal? ;)

Galoot said...

I went to my 10 and 15 year reunions which were filled with several awkward converstions and small talk. A couple of my best friends from that time declined to go because they didn't care for a lot of the people then and they don't now. Too bad, really, because I would have loved to see them. Oh well. Maybe the 20th!

Whiskeymarie said...

I went to my 10 & 15-year ones and had way, way, WAY too much fun. But, I went to a really small school and everyone knew everyone.
I think I'll skip the 20th, though.
I think I'm done.

chirky said...

I was on the reunion committee for my reunion last year, and believe me: your reunion is everything you think it will be. Which is unfortunate.

Mine was drunk-tards, catty-bitchiness and cliques all rolled into one giant dinner, wherein we all hated each other all over again.

Good call on not going.

nancypearlwannabe said...

My high school is having an 11 year reunion this November. Why? Because after the 5 year, they "forgot" about the 10 year.

Yeah, I think I'll be skipping that too.