Thursday, January 18, 2007

Super Professional!

My nemesis is a guy I work with who I will call John. John is actually a pretty sucky nemesis because I don't know him very well. John is about my age, I think, and that's pretty much all I know. He started at my office about a year after I started, but we were never introduced. We are both in the same general group and have the same job title, but we have different bosses and are on different floors. So anyway, one day, not long after John first started, I saw him in the hallway and said hi. He totally ignored me. It was kind of weird, but not really a big deal.

A few weeks later, I went to lunch with a group of about 12 people. John was one of the 12. We were standing around, waiting for the last few stragglers, and I happened to be next to John. We were facing each other. I said, "Hi, John. I don't think we have ever officially been introduced. I'm -R-." John looked right at me, turned around, and started talking to the person behind him.

That was the last (and really only the second) straw. John became my nemesis. I have seen John many times since he became my nemesis, and he has never once acknowledged me. It is pretty hilarious.

My friend at work and I always report to each other each time we run into my nemesis. John actually talks to my friend, so my friend lords it over me, as though being acknowledged by John is some great accomplishment.

Today, John sent an e-mail to everyone in our group asking if anyone had this work-related book he needed. I had a book in my office on the same subject, though it wasn't the book for which John was searching. I wrote an e-mail to my friend that said, "I have a book on the same subject that my nemesis is researching. But I'm not going to tell him. Take that!"

And then I sent the e-mail to my boss instead of my friend. Then I crawled under my desk, curled up in a little ball, and died.



Actually, then I called my friend and told him what I had done, and we laughed for a really long time because apparently we both enjoy my total humiliation. My boss later replied to my e-mail with, "Did you mean to send this to me?" I wrote back, "What?" So I guess my strategy is to pretend I am hard-of-hearing via e-mail. I do not know how this strategy could fail.

24 comments:

-R- said...

PS I realize my sidebar is messed up, but I just don't care that much right now.

janet said...

ahhhh how embarrassing! do you think your boss had any clue what you were talking about?

-R- said...

Janet, my boss got the e-mail from John, so I am sure he figured it out. I think my boss has had even less interaction with John than I have though.

stefanie said...

I love that you just started that post with "My nemesis is..." You know, as though we all have a nemesis and you're just figuring it's about time you cleared up just who yours is. True, actually, maybe we SHOULD all have nemesises (nemesi? what the hell is the plural of that word?). Do you remember that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa acknowledged the need for a nemesis, and she said, "Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow..."? (You do know how I enjoy finding the appropriate Simpsons reference for every situation, right?)

As for the e-mail... Oh my. I gasped in horror for you as I read that. I have read far too many stories like that (of accidentally misdirected emails) in recent months. I keep checking the "To" field carefully every time I write anything the least bit potentially incriminating.

OK, I think that comment was almost officially as long as your post. I will stop now. Sorry.

Stinkypaw said...

Ouch! I hope your boss has a good sense of humour or that he falls for your solid strategy! Some lesson you are giving that nemesis of yours!

theotherbear said...

Hahaha - that's fabulous. Just the sort of thing I do. The other day I was talking about someone and then gradually... realised something was wrong from the look on the person's face I was talking to... and I said "He's standing behind me, isn't he..." Yep. Glad I'm not the only one :)

ali said...

That made me laugh out loud - I mean aside from the whole total humiliation bit.

Reminds me of the time my husband and I were at an engagement party for some friends of ours and we were chatting up a high school acquaintance we hadn't seen in some time. High school boy's wife was standing across the lawn from us and my husband - having seen her protruding belly - asked the husband when she was "going to have that baby." As poor husband was explaining that his poor wife had actually given birth a few months prior and was having trouble losing the weight, we look over to see another friend of ours talking to poor wife and RUBBING HER STOMACH. One of the most mortifying - and yet hilarious - moments of our 10 years together.

Dang - I should have saved this story for my own stinkin' blog!

3carnations said...

I think my favorite part of this is that you actually have a nemesis. What are you, a superhero?...Wait a minute...Of course you are! ;p

The missent email...How mortifying. That is why I am so paranoid I stare at an email address too long before hitting send, and then after I send it I look in the sent box to make sure it went where I wanted...Obsessive compulsive...Maybe a little.

Lawyerish said...

OHHHH. My stomach crumpled up into a little ball when I read the part about the email!

Hard of hearing over email. That is AWESOME.

You have such great stories. I may adopt this one and the oil painting one as my own.

princess slea said...

that dude is totally in love with you and just too immature to deal with it.

Christine said...

I died a little inside over the email thing. Here's to hoping your boss will side with you on the nemesis.

Sarah said...

That story is too funny. What is wrong with John? John is clearly in love with you and if he dares to speak he would be unable to control his passion.

PreppyGirl said...

I'm with Princess - he's got it bad for ya. Or - perhaps he's a transvestite and jealous of your ability to wear heels in the workplace while he can only wear them in the privacy of his own home (and for clubbing of course).

You never know...

lizgwiz said...

Oh, that is hilariously painful. Yowza. But really, what's up with John Nemesis? That's just weird.

L Sass said...

OMG... I cannot believe that actually happened to you. Sometimes I talk about how rude the rude girl in our office is with my friend who is also her supervisor... it's so great to vent, but we both feel totally dirty and unprofessional when we do it.

Jhianna said...

I'm with Lawyerish - hard of hearing over email is just awesome. I might have to borrow the nemesis thing. I've been calling mine the Officemate From Hell (OFH for short), but he might be working up to nemesis status.

guinness girl said...

OH! I died a little for you when I read this! UGH.

Mama Drama Jenny said...

Oh my god, you crack me up.

Oh and totally had a work nemesis. I outlasted the bitch.

don't call me MA'AM said...

That. Was. Hilarious! I can't stop laughing long enough to type!

Hard of hearing over email. Priceless!!

metalia said...

I LOVE that you pretended that you had no idea what your boss was talking about. Hilarious!

Em said...

Just found your site and must tell you that I LOVE this post!! So typical of Corporate America.

beingmccrary said...

This is a little late but...I did that once, not as bad but I did. My boss was definitely confused. I post on my blog through my email....I'm just waiting to send that to the wrong person. I triple check it every time!

laurie said...

Okay, this was so funny, and I also hurt for you. Jennifer and I used to work together at Big Corporation, and she once accidentally forwarded a mean email I wrote to the very person I wrote it about. Nice!

Now I try to be mean in my mind, not in email.

miss tango in her eyes said...

cluck cluck