Thursday, November 30, 2006

Liar, Liar

When I was six years old and in the first grade, I used to love reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, Trixie Belden books, and the Bobbsey Twins books. So did a friend of mine in my class. Except the friend would carry around a book with her almost all the time, and I remember being with her several times when adults would make comments about how smart she was for reading chapter books at that age. And I would think - Hey, I read those books too! Where are my compliments?

My friend also got a lot of attention around this time of year. Her dad was Jewish, and her mom was Christian. We had to watch these film strips in school about Hannukah and Christmas, and my friend would brag about how she got to celebrate both holidays. So when we had to make a little holiday mobile to hang above our desk, I decorated one side of my mobile with "Merry Christmas" and the other side with "Happy Hannukah." Then I told everyone that my dad was Jewish and my mom was Christian and we celebrated both holidays. Need attention much?

My mom found out about my lies. She asked me, "Do you know what religion Dad is?" I said, "Yes, he is Lutheran." And that was the end of the conversation It was never mentioned again. So apparently my mom thought I was just so dumb that either I thought my dad was Jewish or I didn't know the difference between being Lutheran and Jewish. Or my mom just thought I was a liar and decided to accept it. Perhaps she was thinking of the time in kindergarten that I forged my mom's signature on my report card because I was too embarrassed to show her that I got a Not Satisfactory in shoe-tying. As though my mom didn't already know that I didn't know how to tie my shoes? And no one would be able to tell the difference between the handwriting of a kindergartner attempting cursive for the first time and the handwriting of my mom? Obviously, I was a child genius.

20 comments:

maliavale said...

Aww. I loved those books, too. I had a friend who beat me in Book-It because she included little kids' books she read to her younger brothers and sisters. We never forget those little snubs.

Also, sorry, but it's kinda funny that your mom just left it at that! Aww.

double_g said...

Your signature-forging days sure started early!

Libragirl said...

I read those when I was little. I was the nerd who carried books around also, still do. Sorry if we got you ignored.

I celebrate Hanukah. We got forgotten at the holiday season. Which was strange since it was a predominately Jewish neighborhood. Everything was Christmas. still is.

When I was little my brother told me I got left back in Kindergarten. I believed him until I was in my 30's and asked my mom. It never occured to me he was lying. Like I would have been the oldest in my class not the youngest if I was in Kindergarten 2x. I was a stupid child. My brother was mean.

3carnations said...

Wouldn't it have been easier to just start carrying a book around, too? :p

princess slea said...

I think you must have been a genius (albeit a devious one) to even think of forging your mom's name at five years old.

Jenny said...

I had such a girl crush on Laura Ingalls.

All kids forge thier parents signatures eventually. You were just an early bloomer. You would totally get an A in Advanced Deception.

Paisley said...

I loved Trixie Belden. I had all the books. I never got into Nancy Drew. Perhaps it was a TB loyalty. :)

Too cute that you forged your signature in kindergarten.

boozie said...

I was telling one of my friends how I used to lie to my dad (my parents are divorced) to sound cool. I told him that my mom was building an indoor pool in our house and that I was taking tennis lessons. Why on earth would I think tennis was cool?

Lawyerish said...

This sounds like something I would have done. Whenever my best friend got attention and I didn't, I became insane with jealousy. Like when she broke her arm, I wanted to wear a sling and a cast, toooooooooo. Wah.

I love the signature forgery. I am sure NO ONE could tell!

Queen Nat of MarmiteLand said...

I have always wanted to be Jewish, but I've never been brave enough to lie about it. You are awesome! ;)

schneids said...

ha! Did you forge the signature in crayon? you make me laugh!

I loved Trixie Belden!

Christine said...

Gah I used the same lie to get both a chocolate Santa and Hanukkah gelt at my first grade Winter Break partay. I was busted when the teacher asked my mom if she could provide her with Jewish recipes. Doh.

Yez said...

I was a Nancy Drew fan. I think it's a riot that someone felt the need to coin the term "chapter book" - that's what books have, unless they're early readers! Kinda like saying "a keyboard computer" or "a steering-wheel car", IMO.

LOVE your kindergarten forgery debut! In kindergarten I made artistic loops on lined paper and told our landlady it was longhand (we didn't say "cursive" in the old days :> ), and she pretended to believe me. In first grade, I told Mom that a[n evil] witch lived in the attic of the Wellesley Public Library, and she played along! Both of those reactions took the wind out of my prevaricatin' sails, and I was a pretty honest kid after that.

JayAre said...

Oh, I loved me some Trixie Beldon! I recently found a complete set at Half Price Books that I have been coveting.
And I love Little House so much I had a Laura Ingalls cookbook! My mom just dug it out and gave it to me over Thanksgiving. There's some pretty weird stuff in there, frankly.

Miss Peach said...

I LOVED the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. I have the urge to reread the set all the time, actually. Perhaps I should just indulge in it!

don't call me MA'AM said...

I loved all those books, too!

Because I am a singer, I learned how to sing in Hebrew very early, and a lot of people assumed I was Jewish just because I knew how to sing the songs. People are just stupid, eh?

I wrote a whole note complete with someone else's mom's signature in 2nd grade, because she didn't feel good and didn't want to go outside for recess. So, I wrote a note "from her mom" to the teacher. 2nd grade cursive? Not so good.

stefanie said...

If you recall, carrying a book at all times is one of the life lessons I have failed to learn from Rory Gilmore. Sounds like you could have used that lesson years ago as well.

Also, I know about Laura Ingalls Wilder (of course--I read those, too) and the Bobbsey Twins, but am I the only one who's never heard of Trixie Belden? I feel so ashamed; I'd like to think I'm up on that sort of thing.

-R- said...

Malia, ew, what a cheater. I would remember something like that too.

GG, and your signature-forging days started late!

Libra, I can't believe how recently you figured out your brother's lie. That is hilarious.

3cars, I was not a showoff, like her. Just a liar.

Princess, yes, I was an evil genius.

Jenny, why not an A+?

Paisley, I did read Nancy Drew as well, but I always liked Trixie better.

Boozie, maybe tennis lessons are sophisticated? I am sure your dad totally believed you about the indoor pool.

Lawyerish, I am glad I am not the only one. I thought I was going to get comments about what a competitive witch I was.

Nat, you could start lying now, but it might be kind of obvious. Or just weird.

Schneids, no, I used a pen. Obviously I knew what I was doing.

Christine, ha!

Yez, you weren't a liar. Just imaginative. And cute, I'm sure.

JR, I can't imagine what would be in the Laura Ingalls cookbook. Lots of things made of cornmeal, I would guess.

Miss Peach, I haven't read them for a long time either. I don't see why you shouldn't.

DCMM, how cute that you wrote your friend a note. I am glad I was not the only little forger out there.

Stefanie, I didn't think Trixie Belden was that popular, so I don't think you are the only one.

lizgwiz said...

I bought myself a boxed set of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books on Ebay last year, and re-read them all in order. Great fun.

Claire said...

I'm late on commenting to this one, but i was the only one in my school that had ever heard of Trixie Belden and i thought i was so cool for being different and revolutionary.
I'm surprised there are so many people out there that read her when they were kids. She was so much cooler than Nancy. :)