1. I overheard a guy at work making a joke about the Magna Carta. A joke about the Magna Carta. OMG, I work with f'ing nerds.
2. At a work-related party, I went through the buffet for H because his back hurt, and I got him a lot of honeydew. I noticed later that he wasn't eating and asked him what was wrong with the honeydew. He said, "OMG, I hate honeydew. Do you know me at all?" Apparently not.
3. At another work-related party, some bees came near us, and H announced that he was allergic to bee stings. He was stung once when he was pretty young, and disgusting and painful things happened that I will not go into here. The doctor told him that the next time he is stung, he could have a fatal reaction. OMG, don't you think that is something you should tell your wife before you are in a situation in which you are surrounded by bees? We survived unscathed though.
4. I wrote an e-mail to my boss last week that said, "OMG! Don't even tell me that!" I am so professional.
5. OMG, I have been alternating between leaving totally lame and boring comments and weird-ass, only-funny-in-my-mind comments on other people's blogs. Sorry.
6. Jenny and 3carnations (on Miss Zoot's blog) both wrote tremendously nice things about my blog. OMG, it made my whole week. I don't want to get too lame here, so I will just say thanks. (Even though Jenny wants me to go to hell- the nice one with kitties).
7. I am feeling kind of negative about my blog lately, which is stupid. I just see so many people who write better than I do, and I think I suck. But OMG, quit being so hard on yourself, self! Look at #6!
8. I trimmed too much of my toenail last night, and OMG, it really hurts.
9. OMG, I can't believe you are still reading this after I just wrote about my toenail. And I wonder why I don't have more readers.
10. We are inviting people over to our house a week from Saturday for a BBQ and other festivities, and I am kind of freaking out about it. What if it is really boring? I don't know how to entertain people. OMG, what if no one comes? Or worse, what if only one person comes and is a witness to that fact that no one else showed up?
11. I left for work today at around (OMG) 7 am! You should be really impressed!
12. I got home at (OMG) 8:41 pm. You should be really sad.
13. OMG, I love telling you how to feel.