Saturday, November 19, 2005

Best Party Ever

We decided to have friends over on Thursday night. Nothing exciting. Just the chance to goof around with a couple friends, have some drinks, act a little dorky, and show off the new house.

So I announced to the friends, "Party will start at 7:15 because we will definitely be home by then."

I leave work early on Thursday so that I can get home in plenty of time. I get on my usual bus. Except for some reason it decides not to go right to my stop. It decides to go to two other places totally out of the way. Meanwhile, I am quietly panicking because I have somehow ended up on the bus with a crazy driver who is apparently just going wherever the heck he feels like going. AAA! But we do eventually make it to my stop. My husband picks me up, and we pull into the driveway of our house at 7:15. And our guests pull right in behind us. They were probably circling the block waiting for us, but they nicely pretended like that was not the case.

So obviously we had no time to prepare food. I put the items H bought at Super-T in the oven. Unfortunately, I forgot that our oven is a little crazy right now. On Saturday, I tried to bake a big cake in a little pan, and cake bubbled over everywhere. Now when you turn on the oven, it gets rather smoky. As in, the whole kitchen fills with smoke, and many windows and doors must be opened. So I told our guests, "Pretend like our kitchen is not filled with smoke! Let's quickly go into the living room, but not because the kitchen is filled with smoke, since it is not!"

And in the laundry room a big basket of clean laundry was lying in the middle of the floor, which I instructed everyone to ignore before I quickly put it on the stairs, where it was really still in sight, but oh well.

Then I kind of forgot about the food, and it kind of got a little bit, how shall I say it, crisp in the oven. And I tried to serve our guests some old-ish red wine that had basically turned into vinegar. Luckily when I started smelling it and asking if anyone thought it was ok to drink, our guests declined and chose to have some beer and white wine that was perfectly fine. I was the only one who tried to drink the red, and I pretended like it was really good but I just happened to be in the mood for white wine.

So if you are looking for a party planner, let me know, because I am totally available.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Random Musings on Work

Don't you hate it when you get into the elevator and the only other person on the elevator with you smells like pot? And then the pot-smelling guy gets off the elevator and a senior partner at your law firm gets on, and the elevator still smells like pot? Don't you want to say, "The mailroom guy smelled like pot! It's not me!" but at the same time you don't want to be a weirdo or to draw attention to the scent of pot? Hypothetically, of course.

Things That Annoy Me
1. Guys who wear printed t-shirts under their dress shirts- I can totally read the t-shirt underneath, and it makes you look like a dork who doesn't understand the concept of dress shirts.
2. People who walk really slowly in the middle of the skyways during the lunch hour.
3. People who do not offer their seat on a crowded train or bus to an elderly person or mother with a little kid.
4. Pantyhose.
5. Women who have Super-80s-I-love-Whitesnake hairdos.
6. People who don't understand sarcasm.
7. Kate Spade purses - Why would I spend $200 or more on a purse that isn't even leather?
8. Having to work on the weekend.

Book I Am Currently Reading:

Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc

It is a non-fiction book about this family growing up in the inner city Bronx. The author is a journalist who followed the members of a family for 10 years, through prison time, moves to upstate New York, tribulations of the welfare system, drug involvement, domestic and other kinds of violence, sexual abuse, and more. The story is so surreal that I keep forgetting these are real people. I do not know how they can live the way they do and survive, although I am sure they would not understand my life either. It was a little hard to get into, but I am now fascinated by the book.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

I wonder what those powers are...

Sometimes when my husband puts on his wedding ring in the morning he says, "Husband powers activate!"

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Very Scary

My Halloween adventure was pretty darn scary. I was driving to work. Traffic was a little worse than normal, but nothing too bad. I was paying attention, watching the road, and then my airbag was going off, I was colliding with another car, and I was scared to death. The two other drivers involved were both very pleasant, and one of them even helped me get out of my car, which was leaking strange-colored fluids all over the road. We waited for the police and chatted pleasantly. How strange. The police officer who came to the scene was amazingly nice and ended up driving me to work. She offered to handcuff me and deliver me to my office, but I felt the law firm might not see the humor in that. So now my four-day-old car is at a body shop, waiting to be inspected by my insurance agent so that it can be fixed. Poor little car, all smushed. It apparently needs a new radiator, front bumper, and hood, among other things. Basically, if it is in the front of the car, it needs to be replaced. I think the basic engine stuff is ok though. Yay, engine!

My husband is my new chauffeur, and he is being very kind about it. He pretends like he is glad to have the extra time we have together in the morning as he drives me to the light rail or bus stop, depending on my transportation mood that day.

Speaking of my husband, he is currently watching the Fox special, Trading Spouses: When Crazy Women Freak Out. He loves watching shows that show people acting bizarre. He loves watching shows that make him mad; i.e., shows with people who think they are Better Than You but are really just judgmental nutjobs. I do not enjoy watching shows that serve the whole purpose of riling me up. I will stick to my Gilmore Girls, The West Wing, and Grey's Anatomy. I am the kind of person who does not look at car accidents when I have to drive by. And with that, this post has come full circle (pretend with me, people), and I can end here.